Sonuva bitch, I can't smile...

Oh yeah, Leslie hates me right now. Damn.

Quick Random Poetry

I speak to you from far away
Yet I make no sound
When you reply, I am warmed
And feel comfort, joy

We speak and sing of strange things
Yet one thing is consistent
I cannot wrest my mind from you
And so my mind is absent

And now the clock strikes twelve
And separate we must
But I shall see you soon
And in this faith I trust

Prom

So, prom night...

1815: Arrived at Parc 55 Hotel

1820: Made contact with Diana. She wasn't ready yet, so I went down to the lobby

1900: Arrival of a group of people I was familiar with. Began doing some recon. Located ballroom and picture taking area. And bathrooms

1915-1950: Hung around. Met some friends, some acquaintances, some new guys.

1950: Rendevous with Diana at her friends' room

2000: Pictures

2010-2130: Walk around, talk with friends, take pictures with our cams.

2130: First slow song, "I'm Yours", then "Truly Madly Deeply" right after. Slow danced entire time with Diana.

2140-2230: More walking. More pics

2230-2315: Split up for a bit. Diana goes to dance with friends. I walk around, talk with people I know.

2315: Third slow song. More dancing

2320: Split up again

2330: "Dirty Little Secrets" plays. Rock out.

2345-0000: Last three songs, slow dance-ish till the end.

0005: Hug and split up. She goes up, I go down

0007-0015: Hit the bar in lobby for pepsi.

0030: Ride arrives. Leave.


Highlights:
-The dancing
-She calling me "weird" and "insane"
-The dancing
-Again, the dancing
-The fedora

Lowlights:
-The freaking in the back of the stage (Thank the spirits it was so dark back there)
-Again, the freaking
-Once more, the freaking
-The nagging fear that I screwed up
-Lack of good topics for conversation ( My years of ignoring pop culture is coming back to bite me. Hard.)
-The end.

The rest of the Raiders say I should have kissed her on the cheek for goodnight. I think that's taking it a bit too far. I don't know...Everything is still so new to me. I feel like I finally just might have a connection to someone, but I fear going forward. What the hell am I supposed to do?

The way John's been talking to me, which is to go all out and be aggressive, seems too extreme. I don't want to push her away with arrogance and overconfidence, but I don't want to let her slip away with aloofness and a lack of courage. This is all going to my head.

I just wish that I could read the signs better. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could make this right. Just being friends is good enough for me. Any further would be counted as a gift from the spirits.

Well, life's been smooth lately. The demons inside me try to break out, but I can cage them. Still working on a cure, but it might be closer than I think.

Anyhow, couple updates:

School Board Meeting, 24th-ish. The bastards tried to table the resolution to save RO, but we stuck to our guns and got a really late night's sleep. Caring about students my ass, they just want to roll with the "progressives"

Today, Assembly Education Committee meeting on AB 223 and AB 351. When we left, 223, the one to force SFUSD to keep RO was held back for passing for the moment, but 351, the one for PE credit, was passed. Now we wait.

I have to say thought, Tom Ammiano is a real bitch. That, and the adults who were rallying against a program supported by TEENS.

FOR THE LOVE OF FRAKKIN' CTHULHU, WHEN THE HELL WILL THEY ACTUALLY COME AND SEE OUR SIDE?

That's the BIGGEST, and maybe ONLY reason I hate those people. Its one thing to argue for a peace based curriculum that doesn't discriminate, but its another when you don't practice what you preach and discriminate against us just because we march and wear uniforms.

Okay, I guess that fills up my ranting for today. Next up, love life time!

Alright, so I asked Diana to Junior Prom. Asked her in the choir room, with a pink rose (granted, the first outer ring of petals were wilted, but hey, I had to keep it overnight, so it kept pretty well), and Phelan, Jarrett, and Spam looking on. I barely choked out the word "Prom?" with what may have been a desperate look in my eyes.

She said she'd think about it. I walked away with a stone in my stomach. I had been there and done that with Jane in sophmore year. I was expecting the worst.

On Friday, I was returning from teh attendance office when I encountered her and her friend walking down teh hallway. I walked a bit ahead, did an about-face and waved with my typical "Yo", to which she said "Hi".

Went into the Range to meet up with my company. They were gone. Went to the classroom via the corridor. She was waiting outside, with her friend.

Told me that she was willing to go as friends. I said "Cool". Everything else was easily forgettable.

After that, I kept getting congratulated by everybody, especially Leslie, who came to visit. I didn't hear any of it. Only one word circled through my mind.

YES.

Well, now comes the hard part.